Alone.

So here I am.

Just a couple days after New Years Day.

Monday's are always a really hard day for me.

Hard... cause hubby returns to work...

Boston goes to school....

And I sit alone.

Today, I woke up.. even make a to do list...

But yet.....

I have cried twice and it's only 1pm.

I just don't understand it.

I ready other blogs and yet I can't allow my heart to warm up and know how lucky I am.

It's so weird.

It goes in cycles.

I know I should stop dwelling.... and just accept the things I can not change....

But it's so hard.

I know my sadness is really getting old...  I know many feel I need to quit whining and just fix it....

It's just so hard to fix. 

It's all I've known my entire life......

I guess I could get a job at Wawa.

They are always singing and laughing when I go in there for my morning coffee...

But then again.....

If I'm trying to get my SkinnyButt back.. That sure isn't the place to work with their unreal Mac N Cheese and milkshakes to die for.

Just ask Boston...

He'll tell ya. 

Although.. He has a SkinnyButt.

I look up at my tree.

Yeah.

It's still up.

Maybe I'll keep it up till next year. 

Maybe I should take it down.

Maybe I should take a walk.

Maybe I should embrace my new life.

I sure am trying I tell ya....

So much so.. that it makes my heart hurt....

December went so fast...

If I don't make the best of it......

My life will go faster than December did....

And I'll miss it.....

Just like I miss my family.